on Viagra Plus Fucking Myself with the Dildo
Today I took sildenafil (generic Viagra) and did meditation practice along with masturbation
and guided visualization to reinforce that I am now living as a nonbinary man who wears
skirts, openly loves his body and particularly his genitals, and uses masturbation to improve
his life. I did almost all of the session dressed in sandals with a nice shirt and skirt with
no underwear, as
a way of reinforcing that I'll be living in such clothes and going out in them.
This went on for a couple of hours, during which it dawned on me that these sildenafil sessions
of a raging erection and high state of arousal for several hours are now probably a regular
part of my life. Most people have a partner; I don't, I just have me. So, while
much of the world was courting or having sex with a partner on Valentine's Day, I was having
sex with myself, and it was delightful and uplifting.
Then, while the drug was still active, I took an enema to clean my colon out - good practice for when I am going to get
fucked. I got aroused while doing it, partly from imagining a future in which doing it means
I'm going to be fucked. Once it came out clear and I was sure I was empty, I stuck the dildo
to a vertical surface, lotioned it thoroughly, and went to it. It was the best it's ever been,
and I never wanted it to stop. After a while my legs got tired and I lay down on my back and
continued. Nothing in my life has ever felt more "right". I kept on past the point at which
my arms and hands were worn out until I just couldn't do it any more. Had it been a real
person doing it, I'd have been happy to have it go on for hours. As it was, including rest
times, I did it for an hour.
I was simulating going out with a man who tells me to be ready an hour before time, then just
as I'm ready to go he fucks me for an hour fully dressed and tells any friends we meet that
he just fucked me. I want that to happen in my life, repeatedly.
Make no mistake, I *love* being fucked and when it finally starts to happen, I may become a
total slut and be totally turned on having everyone know it.
Today I practiced Tantric masturbation on sildenil (generic Viagra) for the first time. It was
For a long time I didn't need to put any attention on keeping my penis erect, it was going to
be rock hard for as long as the initial high lasted. The sensation just kept coming and
coming as I rode myself close to orgasm and then stopped and focused my attention on my heart
chakra. It was difficult to remain centered because it was so intense, and so I wasn't
gettting the maximum effect lest I let it slip into ejaculation, which would end it all.
It was a great opportunity work on training my attention, with a secondary goal of conditioning
myself to the reality of my naked and shaved body and my sexuality being documented here and
elsewhere on the Internet for anyone to see. Part of that was everyone knowing my genitals
are never going to be used for sex with someone else, so they are for me to enjoy freely
anytime I want. That, combined with my commitment to the practice of Tantric masturbation,
meant I felt an obligation to use the silednefil-fueled erection(s) to maximum effect lest I
let down the expectations of my readers. Surrendering to the sexual energy, worshiping my
genitals for all the joy they bring me and wanting them on display always, feeds the female
side of me, the desire to surrender to another man's penis deep inside me, fucking me until
he's satisfied, to dress myself in short sexy skirts and sandals so men will see me as a
sexual object, to go out with another man and feel like everyone who sees us knows he's
going to fuck me.
After the intial period of undeniable erection, there have followed longer and longer spells of
flacidity followed by strong erections. I'm feeling exhilirated and full of sexual energy that
I will tap and redirect around my body later as well as encourage me to live more openly as
a nonbinary man.
The pills are cheap and I expect this to become a somewhat regular event.
Nudism vs. Naturism
There is often some confusion between the concepts of nudism and naturism. Simply put,
naturism is a subset of nudism. Both involve choosing to live without clothing, but
naturism includes the idea that sexuality is not involved, that nudity is enjoyed purely for
the freedom to be one's natural self in the world. Nudism, however, is not so restrictive
and may involve one's sexuality being expressed while not wearing clothes.
This is why I
call myself "nudist", because I get great sexual pleasure from being and being seen naked -
and I have no shame about that. I do NOT intentionally impose my sexuality or nudity on
anyone who is not open to it, and I would be very uncomfortable with making someone else
uncomfortable with it. It's about enjoyment and pleasure, just as naturism is, but with
a wider scope. So please enjoy!