About Me

I've never felt like I was fully a man. There was no doubt about it physically and I always liked my male body. But while I loved women, I never had that desperate need that so many men have; in fact, I was seldom able to perform adequately with a woman, no matter how much I loved her. While I've always had a strong feminine side, and have dressed essentially androgynously (jeans, shorts, t-shirts/tank tops, sandals, and I love wearing short men's skirts), that was the extent of it.

Sexually, I tended to want to be aroused and the center of attention instead of focusing on the woman and her pleasure. There were a few who enjoyed me that way, giving me manual or oral sex; once in a while there would be one who liked to use a buttplug or dildo on me, and I always liked that. But I never thought of myself as gay, and never had any interest in sex with men.

Then a while back I got acquainted with current thinking about gender identity, and soon realized that, in modern terms, I am nonbinary. I strongly identify physically as male, but sexually I'm female. This is why my sexual relations were not successful - I was supposed to be the one getting fucked, the one who felt beautiful, to be looked at and seen as sexually attractive, the one being courted. I realized I had lost all interest in having sex with women. Like most men, I've experimented with anal sex and liked it ok. Alright, more than ok when it came to wearing a butt plug and the few occasions I spoke of above when a woman used a dildo on me. But the thought of being fucked by a man was anathema to me.

I obtained a dildo which is almost exactly like my own penis but two inches longer, and using it on myself turned out to be a delight, so much so that I began collecting photos of attractive penises from the Internet, having prints made of the best ones, and fantasizing about them being used on me. Oddly enough, though, I still have absolutely no actual sexual interest in other men - I just want to be fucked by a beautiful penis. It was a revelation to find that there was very little actually directly sexual about being fucked, but I love not only how it feels but also the idea of having to allow my body to be penetrated and used for someone else's pleasure, for as long as he wants to. As time went on, I realized I want to be seen by men who like to fuck other men as a sex obect, as someone to fuck, and to have to live with that all the time. While the pandemic, and then monkeypox, have made it all too obvious that it's way too risky to be meeting people I don't know well and allowing them to use my body these days, there's no obstacle to being seen and desired anywhere I go. Lately I've been teaching myself to deep-throat a dildo. I'm able to get all six inces in for a few seconds but I intend to be able to not only have it in for longer, but to be able to fuck my throat with it to some extent. I was amazed to find that when it slides way down in there I get a nice erection - didn't expect that. I don't like the idea of someone ejaculating in my mouth but the idea of them having a climax while their penis is deep in my throat is quite a turn-on. Maybe someday I can have a real live penis up my ass and one down my throat at the same time. I like that idea a LOT.

I've lived for years as a smooth (shaved) nudist full time at home, and sometimes when visiting friends. My useless-for-sexual-relations genitals are not just visible all the time, the lack of pubic hair puts them on display. It's impossible for me to ignore them, and I've realized I have the best of both worlds - I can be fucked, and yet I have my own set of male genitals to play with and enjoy. I like to think of them, and getting me off, as being of no interest to anyone fucking me; the exception would be that the sight of me with an erection might be seen as a sign I need to be fucked. That they can only be used for display, play, and masturbation now has freed me to see them in a different light: that's what they're for, and there's no shame or guilt in it, any more than using my legs to walk around, because it's no longer about sex in the traditional sense. I don't do it because I feel deprived or sneaky, I do it because it brings me pure, unadulterated joy. And honestly, is there anything more beautiful than a big erection?

Since the above was written, I've started wearing a chastity cage much of the time 24/7 for up to two-three weeks at a stretch. While I'm wearing the cage with my penis inaccessible, my feet become the focus of my sexual energy. When the cage is off I I wear socks and sandals to switch that focus away from my feet and onto my penis. The idea is that I always only have either my feet or my penis, never both. Of course, my rear end is always accessible, and since masturbation is not possible with the cage, I fuck myself at least 1,000 strokes with my dildo instead. I've grown to love it so much that when I'm wearing the cage, I'd rather wear it and get fucked than to have no cage and able to masturbate at will.

I take great pleasure in seeing photos of myself naked, which is why I have so many of them. It's my hope that visitors to this site will also enjoy them; this really is how I live in warm weather, so it's almost like you're actually looking at me. I consider my naked body to be a kind of public property: if I'm naked the people around me have a right to look at me as much as they like, and even, within limits, to touch me. Since I've made it a life goal to document my naked body and my sexuality on the Internet for everyone to see, I want as many people as possible to see them. Feel free to download, share, upload, or use them in another website. Most link to a high-resolution image suitable for downloading. It turns me on to think that I won't be able to remove them from the Internet once they're out there and I'll have to live the rest of my life knowing people are looking at me naked, wearing socks and sandals, sometimes with an erection, and just generally on display to the world. Even better, nothing would please me more than to have people masturbate while looking at my photos.