I've never felt like I was fully a man. There was no doubt about it physically and I always
liked my male body. But while I loved women, I never had that desperate need that so
many men have; in fact, I was seldom able to perform adequately with a woman, no matter how
much I loved her. While I've always had a strong feminine side, and have dressed
essentially androgynously (jeans, shorts, t-shirts/tank tops, sandals, and I love wearing short
men's skirts), that was the extent of it.
Sexually, I tended to want to be aroused and the center of attention instead
of focusing on the woman and her pleasure. There were a few who enjoyed me that way, giving me
manual or oral sex; once in a while there would be one who liked to use a buttplug or
dildo on me, and I always liked that. But I never thought of myself as gay, and never had any
interest in sex with men.
Then a while back I got acquainted with current thinking about gender identity, and soon
realized that, in modern terms, I am nonbinary. I strongly identify physically as male, but
sexually I'm female. This is why my sexual relations were not successful - I was supposed to
be the one getting fucked, the one who felt beautiful, to be looked at and seen as sexually
attractive, the one being courted. I realized I had lost all interest in having sex with women. Like
most men, I've experimented with anal sex and liked it ok. Alright, more than ok when it came
to wearing a butt plug and the few occasions I spoke of above when a woman used a dildo on me.
But the thought of being fucked by a man was anathema to me.
I obtained a dildo which is almost exactly like my own penis but two inches longer, and using
it on myself turned out to be a delight, so much so that I began collecting photos of
attractive penises from the Internet, having prints made of the best ones, and fantasizing
about them being used on me. Oddly enough, though, I still have absolutely no actual sexual
interest in other men - I just want to be fucked by a beautiful penis. It was a revelation to
find that there was very little actually directly sexual about being fucked, but I love not
only how it
feels but also the idea of having to allow my body to be penetrated and used for someone else's
pleasure, for as long as he wants to. As time went on, I realized I want to be seen by men who
like to fuck other men as a sex obect, as someone to fuck, and to have to live with that all the
time. While the pandemic, and then monkeypox, have made it all too obvious that it's way too
risky to be meeting people I don't know well and allowing them to use my body these days,
there's no obstacle to being seen and desired anywhere I go.
I've lived for years as a smooth (shaved) nudist full time at home, and sometimes when visiting
friends. My useless-for-sexual-relations genitals are not just visible all the time, the lack
of pubic hair puts them on display. It's impossible for me to ignore them, and I've realized
I have the best of both worlds - I can be fucked, and yet I have my own set of male genitals
to play with and enjoy. I like to think of them, and getting me off, as being of no interest
to anyone fucking me; the exception would be that the sight of me with an erection might
be seen as a sign I need to be fucked. That they can only be used for display, play, and
masturbation now has
freed me to see them in a different light: that's what they're for, and there's no shame or
guilt in it, any more than using my legs to walk around, because it's no longer about sex in
the traditional sense. I don't do it because I feel deprived or sneaky, I do it because it
brings me pure, unadulterated joy. And honestly, is there anything more beautiful than a big
Since the above was written, I've started wearing a chastity cage 24/7 with only short breaks
every couple of weeks or so for cleaning and to masturbate. While I'm wearing the cage my
feet are always bare, because with my penis inaccessible they become the focus of my sexual
When the cage is off I I wear socks and sandals to switch that focus away from my feet
and onto my penis. Since masturbation is not possible with the cage, I fuck myself at
least 1,000 strokes with my dildo every day instead, and I've grown to love it so much
I'd rather wear the cage and get fucked than no cage and able to masturbate at will.
I take great pleasure in seeing photos of myself naked, which is why I have so many of them.
It's my hope that visitors to this site will also enjoy them; this really is how I live in
warm weather, so it's almost like you're actually looking at me. I consider my naked body
to be a kind of public property: if I'm naked the people around me have a right to look at
me as much as they like, and even, within limits, to touch me. Since I've made it a life goal
to document my naked body and my sexuality on the Internet for everyone to see, I want as many
people as possible to see them. Feel free to download, share, upload, or use them in another website.
Most link to a high-resolution image suitable for downloading. It turns me on to think that
I won't be able to remove them from the Internet once they're out there and I'll have to live
the rest of my life knowing people are looking at me naked, wearing socks and sandals,
sometimes with an erection, and just generally on display to the world. Even better, nothing
would please me more than to have people masturbate while looking at my photos.